The Old Year, and The New: 2025
Courage Merry, courage for our friends
The Year Past
2024 was a year in which I wanted to focus on reflecting. I wanted, in the words of the Oracle of Delphi, “to know [my]self”. I did a pretty good job of this I think. My journals from the past year and filled with entries of self-observation and introspective tarot readings. I understand more of my own psychology: why I’ve pursued certain relationship, why I’m drawn to running, and what my fundamental values are (openness to new ideas is much more important to me than I had realized). I read 89 books and wrote 2-3 paragraph reviews for all of them, most engaging critictically with the author’s work. I doubled the number of subscribers to this blog, which the new ~26 blog posts this past year, approximately two each month, probably helped with (although also big shoutout to
whose recommendations bring new people to this blog every week).Yet, in opposition to last year, I think the reflection and rumination has perhaps gone too far. This year I was afraid to commit to habits, books, hobbies, and people. Afraid to give up possibility in exchange for depth and connection. I might have a better understanding of myself, but this understanding failed to translate into more effective action.
The Year Ahead
My year of reflection helped me to realize that I’m suffering from what Kierkegaard might call “the sickness unto death”: despair. Much of what I’m doing on a day-to-day basis seems to lack purpose. Science as an institution is not long for this world, societal collapse or not. My favorite personal interests are also dying: there are less readers each year, and the serious running scence in Baltimore continues to fade. I cannot seem to kick things like pornography and compulsive tech use. Worst of all, I seem unable to even try to connect with God (who is there in some form when I do manage to do so) through prayer or meditation.
Now all is not lost. In some sense all that is really required in each of these situations is an act of courage or a leap of faith to break me out of my current situation. Science as an institution may be dying, but that does not stop me from acting scientifically, and standing up for the truth when the opportunity presents itself. Short-form video content may be on the rise, but I can encourage deeper reading through gifts, discussions, and being an asshole about social media use. Pornography and compulsive internet use come from a desire to connect with others, so I should do so, even if they make me vulnerable or take me away from my “grindsets”. Things like lack of time in prayer can be solved simply by making more time for prayer and recognizing that it’s going to be tough/boring.
In short, taking action this year isn’t enough. I already take enough action in my life. This year I need to be brave1. To rip-off the band-aids where I know they need to be ripped off. To do the things I have been putting off.
Acts of courage for this year:
Reading. I’ve already written a longer post on reading for this year, but reading is also a place that I can have more courage. Be willing to persevere through a book that is making me uncomfortable2. Sharing my unadultered thoughts on a book or an idea that I know will offend some readers and friends. Picking up books that are verbotten.
Langauges. I’ve taken the plunge and finally signed up for a formal Spanish exam, the DELE, (more on this in the next Spanish post). I think it’s also finally time to get serious about Italian if I truly want to be a polyglot.
Living in tune with nature. Societal collapse has been on my personal horizon since 2021. The world in which I grow old is going to look nothing like today, and its time to start preparing for it. I don’t own a car and don’t plan to, but I still fly, and still am extremely reliant on our industrial food system. This year I would like to try taking the train back to my parents house in Chicago rather than flying, and to wean myself off of my use of Amazon.
Personal relationships. This one is difficult because I’ve had some contradictory realizations in 2024. I’ve realized that many of the romantic relationships I’ve attempted have come from a place of memetic desire, that is wanting something because others have it, rather than genuine attraction to a specific individual. At the same time, I clearly have an unmet need (what else explains the porn use). To attempt to solve this paradox, I think I just need to dedicate more time to social activities in 2025, be that social running groups, or just saying yes to more dinner parties. That doesn’t mean hanging out with people I know I don’t like, but it means giving people more chances, and making more time for those I know are important to me.
Attention. This is perhaps the most important thing on this list. I need to take radical steps to restore my attention span and ability to focus on the world at hand. I’m not exactly sure what this looks like yet, but it certainly involves more meditation, prayer, and reading, and might involve getting rid of my smartphone completely.
On the blog this year I’d like to post more, aiming for roughly a post a week, but with a minimum of two posts a month. One of these will certainly be a book review. Other topics could include living more sustainably, running training, spirituality, and of course the x00 hour Spanish and Italian posts. For example the month of January might look like:
This post (New Year): spirituality
In-depth book review of Platform by Houellebecq and my thoughts on the hypocrisy of mass tourism: book review.
1700-hour Spanish update : languages.
Why bikes are awesome: sustainability.
I’ll also post less in-depth, couple paragraph reviews for every book I read this year on the notes part of substack. However, this is a very rough plan: above all, it’s important to be kind to myself and respectful of my own time. If I don’t post as much as I want, that’s okay! I have to live as well! I think knowing I can revise posts at any time will also be helpful in taking the pressure off somewhat. Nothing has to be perfect the first time around.
What are your goals for 2025?
If you enjoyed this article, you can sign up for my mailing list by subscribing. I blog about language learning, biology, the science and art of learning, and many other things. I hope you all have an excellent year
Josh
It is perhaps no coincidence that my Hogwarts house has changed to Gryffindor in the past few months
Nice post, Josh, and I appreciate your intentionality about cultivating the aspects of yourself that you'd like to deepen.
Without getting into specific detail, my 2025 goals include the following: expand my work and my knowledge of the subject matter; do many more in-person interviews and perhaps expand this into a business, maybe not*, explore different work opportunities, be consistent with reading and writing, maintain and deepen my existing relationships, perhaps move where I live, connect more with the writers whose work I respect, get better at piano, and visit family members. I'll come up with more...
* This doesn't relate to politics but rather to proper estate planning: lots of people die and maybe leave their kids and/or grandchildren money, but there is no legacy otherwise. The idea is to sit down and record the older generation in a long interview, their life story, their dreams and challenges and beliefs, so that their grandchildren and generations thereafter can get a sense of who they were. Without the intentionality of something like this a person's whole life will get lost in the wind much faster. I've done this with a couple family members so far and want to do more.
I tried to connect with God numerous ways throughout the years and kept running into dryness and dullness. Discovering Orthodox Christianity in 2020 through Fr. Seraphim Rose’s writings was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Check it out, it changed my life forever for the better.